Here I am, being repaired.

August 21, 2022

Loneliness and fear of disappointing people has been a struggle for me my whole life. It’s turned into moments of anxiety and it’s purely by the Holy Spirit that I’ve lived a life full of so much joy and laughter.

Having Jesus doesn’t make your life perfect, but He does make your life whole, fulfilled and with purpose. Having an intimate relationship with my Creator and Savior to be able to bring my entire, imperfect self to is the most beautiful part of life. He’s the source of all comfort, joy and identity and if you’re searching for any of those things, I promise you won’t find them anywhere else.

I want to do my best at representing Jesus to a world that doesn’t know Him. I’ve been so bothered lately by the Church’s failed job at this. If you’re reading this and you’ve been hurt by a Christian, don’t let it form your belief about who Jesus is. If you’re a believer reading this and you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, etc., it doesn’t mean you’re not “christian enough,” but waking up each morning and re-giving it to the Lord is where you’ll find freedom from the enemy’s attacks.

@rach.charity.brown painted a picture of Jesus holding a broken girl in His arms and when I look at it I see all of the times Jesus was holding me and weeping with me – not to make my life here on earth perfect, but to carry me through every trial.

Something that David in the Bible did so beautifully is remembering what God did in the past and praising Him for it despite his current struggles. My prayer right now is that we would be a generation of remembrance despite so much evil and pain in the world and we would use it as our weapon against the enemy.

Taking a video dancing in the presence of God surrounded by people who most likely thought I was a wack job was so refreshing to my soul. These are the precious moments with my Father that I always want to remember.

Being a person who loves life and has so much fun in it, I’ve failed at pausing to take a moment and show the world what it looks like when Jesus turns brokenness into beauty. I get back up so quickly but I forget that often the repairing isn’t only for my sake. So here I am, being repaired.