November 2, 2018
I have a confession…
I hate pens! But I rarely write in pencil because I’m scared it’s going to smear all over the pages (it’s the worst). This is why I do pretty much everything in pen. I wish I didn’t let that pet peeve stop me from using pencils because I just love the way the lead smooths out after you use it for a while making it so much easier to write…and let’s be honest, pencil rarely smears all over. All this talk about a simple writing utensil, but it sparked a thought:
Why do I constantly choose the pen over the pencil, knowing how much more I enjoy writing with a pencil?
Well, it’s because I’m afraid to take the risk of things getting messy. I think sometimes, well, a lot of the time, I continue in the same patterns or routines because I’m scared that switching things up will not go as I wanted it to and only end up worse. But how often do pencils actually smear all over the pages? I could be in a negative situation, but I fear that if I try to change or fix things, they would just get worse, and if I’ve been able to survive this long using pens, I might as well just continue then, right? Wrong.
Why are we so afraid of taking risks? Because we are so comfortable where we are at, even if where we are at is a good, healthy situation, or if it’s an unhealthy and toxic one, it’s still comfortable because we have gotten used to it. I hate using pens, but every time I use a pencil I get scared that it’s all going to turn into a big mess. I got so comfortable using pens despite knowing how much I would rather use a pencil. Pretty silly example, but I think it works…right?
As humans, we have earthly desires, and one of those desires is comfort. We seek after comfort, security, and stability, and with that comes acceptance. We begin to accept and allow things we know aren’t the greatest, but they will allow us to be comfortable. We settle. This begins to feed our mind lies such as:
- maybe nothing better will come along, so don’t risk losing this
- helping others and being a good person means you have to allow yourself to be hurt
- if you stop being there for someone that’s toxic to you, that’s selfish and you’re only thinking about yourself
- even though you want to let this go, don’t, because you don’t know how it’s going to end
- you’re fine right where you are so there’s no use in trying to make things better
These are just a few of the lies that Satan begins to feed into our minds when we decide to settle. Change is a risk, it’s continuous work, and you will lose your comfort, but it’s necessary for growth. We continue in the same patterns and routines because we are afraid of the mess that could come with risk. But isn’t it even more exhausting to be constantly trying to make a toxic thing in your life work? We allow ourselves to settle because we are scared this may be the best it’s going to get, so we focus all of our energy on trying to make that thing a good thing, instead of just booting it out of our lives completely.
As humans, we seek comfort, but as members of the Kingdom, we are called out of comfort and into discomfort. Remaining in the same place not only blocks the opportunity for growth but it damages the previous growth as well. Think about it, if you have a plant and you water it a few times, it’s going to grow a little bit. But if you stop putting in the work and continue watering it just because the growth it’s had is good enough, the plant isn’t just going to stay the same. It’s going to die.
Anytime you’re comfortable, make a change and go deeper.
Take the risk, despite the fear of things getting worse, messy, uncomfortable, or too much work. From here on out, I’m going to use pencils instead of pens(; But seriously, I am going to take the risk of change in my life. I’m ready for the mess, the work, and the discomfort because I know that is the only way I will grow. I have to let go and trust that there are much greater things in store for me, and you too. Or maybe you’re not struggling to let something go, maybe you’re struggling to start something new, with the fear of not knowing how it will play out. This is still a fear that needs to be let go of.
With that being said, this is my goodbye letter to the things I have been clinging onto for so long, afraid of the mess it will bring if I let it go. Should you be saying goodbye to something/someone as well? It’s funny to think that it took something as simple as a writing utensil for God to catch my attention, but God is found in all things, and He will be found when you decide to make a change too.
Much love, Em
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